In December of 2016 I received a phone call. The Dr. on the phone then told me that I was pregnant. I was completely surprised. I had gone to this Dr. to make sure that my body could actually get pregnant after the traumatic delivery of my daughter Arianna. Having my daughter was stressful because the entire time I felt like I had to defend my wishes and yell at people in the delivery room. I didn’t care how long it took to give birth to Arianna but I felt like everyone was rushing me to get her out. Ari missed her due date of February 13th consequently a Dr. scheduled an induction for me on the 22nd of February despite a midwife feeling my stomach and telling me that the Dr.’s were wrong this baby was not late, this baby was going to be born on the 18th of February. Well sure enough I was laying in bed watching a movie on February 17th and I knew in my heart that my body was naturally beginning the labor process. I stayed at home until I felt like I was ready to go to the Dr. I was then scolded at the hospital for having waited so long. Of course I was in a lot of pain my contractions were very close together, but I wanted to be at home until I knew it was time. Regardless I went through labor for 7 hours and during this time I kept having to yell at residents who wanted to vacuum her out and use different instruments to pull her out. All of which I knew could misshape her skull. I kept telling them to let me do it myself. At 6 am Arianna came out on her own as lovely as can be. That was not the end of the story though. Another resident who I hadn’t seen before then told me that he was going to pull the placenta out. I told him to get away from me and that the placenta would come out on its own within the next 20-30 minutes. Apparently I wasn’t stern enough and I was probably distracted by my precious baby. He then ruptured my placenta causing me to go into surgery, losing blood and having to be on an antibiotic afterwards. I was pretty angry to say the least… and in fear that the surgery may have scarred my uterus.
Anyway! Three months after our wedding I decided to see a Dr. to make sure that my body was not going to have a problem with getting pregnant. Now flash forward to the phone call. I’m expecting to get bad news, perhaps there really is scarring or perhaps my blood test revealed that I have a hormonal imbalance (my mind can jump to dark places). Fortunately this was a good phone call, I was actually already pregnant and scarring wasn’t anything I needed to worry about! I don’t think I stopped smiling for the rest of that day. I think I was smiling in my sleep. I could not be happier. I love children and have wanted to be a mother since I was 6 years old. I have always wanted a lot of children. This was a dream come true and this part of me that felt incomplete was finally whole. I really can’t explain it. I also did not want my daughter to grow up an only child. Speaking from experience being an only child is lonely.
When I told Nick, he did not believe me. He knew how stressed I was about being able to get pregnant. We excitedly went in for an ultrasound that week but there was nothing there! There was only the start of a little cord. We had come in so early our baby was too tiny to be seen on the ultrasound screen. The Dr. told us not to worry and to come back in one week to give the baby time to get bigger. I prayed that our baby was okay and sure enough when we came in the following week, there was a little baby on the screen with a tiny beating heart. My heart was filled with joy and relief after seeing this little one. I was fiercely madly in love with this baby already.
We decided to tell Arianna on Christmas Day because she kept telling (various) Santa Claus’ that she wanted a baby sister or brother for Christmas. A Santa Claus in Florida actually pulled me aside to tell me that he had to tell my daughter that he did not give families babies, only toys, and that she should speak with her parents about this request. When we sat Arianna in front of the Christmas tree, she too did not believe the news! She has been kissing and hugging my belly ever since though and telling everyone she comes into contact with that her mommy is having a baby.
The first trimester was filled with morning sickness and a couple of migraines which only made the morning sickness worse. If I was hungry for even a minute, I had to run to the toilet. The baby demanded food. Now, our baby is 18 weeks old. The second trimester has been great so far. I am beginning to feel the baby move and although I eat frequently I don’t feel nauseous when I’m hungry anymore. I also feel like the fog and sleepiness of the 1st trimester are gone. Of course it is all worth it when I see my belly grow or feel little kicks. We are expecting Baby Fedeli early August and I could not be happier! I went in for another ultrasound this week and was able to see my baby moving around. Baby Fedeli is an active baby with a strong heart beat. I can’t wait to hold this little one in my arms.