Whenever this world breaks your heart

My time as a 25 year old is almost over.  I’m heading into my late twenties now (ahh!)  Technically I’m already 26 because I was born in Okinawa and back on the island today is the 22nd of September… Strange to think about but regardless I will continue to listen to Earth Wind and Fire’s song, “September” for the rest of the day and anticipate this side of the world’s 22nd of September.  This has been such an incredible year for me.  This time last year I was visiting my friends in North Carolina, living in Chicago and getting ready to move to Naples.

Southport, North Carolina
Southport, North Carolina

Now I’m in Cleveland and the people in my life have completely changed for the better.  Not that I love anyone who has known me for a long time any less!  The good ones stayed, the bad ones God took away and paid back tenfold.  I learned a lot this year about letting go.  In so many ways my soul was forced to adapt to changes that I may or may not have wanted to happen.  I let go of bad friends and bad environments even though I was terrified of how my life would change if I left, spoke my mind or sent that letter of resignation.

When I first moved to the United States there was a woman named Laurie who used to watch me.  She taught me about God, Jesus and heaven and hell.  She was very religious and the only show that I remember her allowing me to watch had a stuffed donut named Duncan as the main character.  The show always used the metaphor of the donut hole being God’s love and how God’s love was the only love that could ever make Duncan whole (get it?)   Anyway whenever this world breaks my heart I remember this one episode when Duncan met a potter.  The episode explained that the “potter” works very hard to mold the clay.  After the potter is finished molding the clay they put it in a fiery stove.  The clay then becomes the beautiful pot that the potter had set out for it to be.  The potter is of course a metaphor for God and the clay is a metaphor for you or me.  During the rough times of this year (honestly for the past several years) I have had to think back on this concept.  I tried to always remind myself that God had me in the palm of his hand and he had to throw me in the flames to create the woman that he needed me to be.  You may think I’m silly and roll your eyes at my figurative language but I hope it helps you in moments of sadness or pain.

My mindset is so different from this time last year and I feel like a different person in many ways.  I feel more clear headed as far as who I am and my trust in other people is slowly returning as Nick continues to love me and my relationships with family and friends grow and continue.  I can lay the past to rest and appreciate its lessons.  I am excited for the future!  And I am so content in my present life.  I can not ask for more.  I really do feel like God worked in his mysterious ways and gave me a life better than I could have imagined on my own.  The people in my life are such a blessing to me.  I hope that I love them enough and that I thank them enough.  I know how much I appreciate them in my heart but I don’t know if I express it well.  I am still learning about life and working on myself.  I don’t think that will ever stop but I am happy to welcome age and the understanding that it brings.

“I hope you don’t mind that I wrote down in words, how wonderful life is…”